19th Century Women

During the Victorian Era there was greater standards of social etiquette particularly sexual restraint. The higher class were especially strict on these rules, in this society you were either a virgin or a wife, anything else you were seen as a whore. Courtship was the way a marriage would be arrange for the upper class, to secure the woman’s position and to give the man power over the wealth of the woman. This helped cut down the amount of arranged marriages as many would want to select their partners so they could obtain this sort of wealth. With this being said families still had an impact, often introducing couples that were well suited. 

Miller, B. (February 13, 2010). Nineteenth Century Courtship Advice. Available: https://outofthiscentury.wordpress.com/2010/02/13/nineteenth-century-courtship-advice/. Last accessed 16th February 2015.

Ways to introduce suitors included balls and dances as Young Women would be introduced to society at these events, this was called “coming out”. Chaperones would oversee the event to make sure nothing happened between the pair prior to their engagement. Each man would have an opportunity to dance with the woman and once she decided on her suitor she would give her card to the man.

Many rules and stages followed, they would then be able to speak once being properly introduced. They would then be able to walk together until they were ready to confirm they wanted to carry on with this courtship and “keep company”. Their dates would be chaperoned, all in order to make sure the woman remained ‘unspoiled’. All this must be completed before the marriage was final.

This makes me sympathise with Miss Havisham, she went through all of this with the man before he jilted her, which would of taken months. The man tricked her for months before leaving her alone on her wedding day, so in a way I believe some of her hatred towards men and her wealth is understandable.

Reference:

Date Hookup editors. (No Date). An Online Dating Guide to Courting in the Victorian Era. Available: http://www.datehookup.com/content-an-online-dating-guide-to-courting-in-the-victorian-era.htm. Last accessed 16th February 2015.